And Lord, I know this is a marathon, but...

Last night, for the first time in many years, I felt the full impact of the analogy, "The Christian walk is not a sprint- it's a marathon."

Alone, underneath a gorgeous evening sky, I broke down before my God and my Maker, unable to understand why He had made me this way, and why I struggled to worship completely such a magnificent Lord.

The sheer massivity of my sin, the hopelessness I felt regarding change, and the unworthiness as to why God would save me came crashing down upon me. I felt as though I had trudged through the same thing for so many years that surely, surely God's patience had worn out. Why had He saved me?

But, by the grace of my all-knowing Lord, I was reminded of something I had recently decided to do: actively claim the promises of scripture in my prayers. To "remind" God of what He had said He would do...

Dearest Lord,

I don't know what to do. I lack even the desire to try. I can't. I don't feel. I don't move. I'm so tired. I'm so fallen. But Lord, you said that though "the righteous cry the LORD hears and delivers them out of all their troubles." So deliver me. Rescue me from this pit of despair for I am "weary and heavy laden." Teach me, show me how your "yoke is easy and [your] burden is light." Give "strength to the weary" and though I "lack might" please increases my power. Allow my desires, my passions, to be satisfied in you alone- help me to "hunger and thirst for your righteousness" for then in you I "shall be satisfied." Teach me the full appreciation of your sacrifice, that "He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him over for us all, how will He not also with Him freely give us all things?" Restore unto me, the joy of my salvation. Make my joy complete in trusting you- "For our heart rejoices in Him, because we trust in His holy name." Lord, give me the strength, the joy, the contentment, to continue in my service to you, for I know that "the LORD longs to be gracious to you, and therefore He waits on high to have compassion on you. For the LORD is a God of justice; how blessed are all those who long for Him." Help me to long, without waning passion, for my God and His glory.

Amen.